The owl and the pussycat flew back home
from a trip to Marbella in Spain.
Three years since they married and both now looked harried
and romance was well on the wane.
The owl looked up to the ceiling above
and said “Look! I’ve just had it to here
with your incessant nagging, your nagging unceased,
and I’m going to find me a beer, a beer,
I’m in desperate need of a beer.”
Said pussy to owl “You fat flatulent fowl;
you haggard old booze sodden bird.
If I compare you to the others I wooed
then you’re barely a very poor third.”
“Well third isn’t bad in the dozens you’ve had;
when we met you were dating two brothers,
plus bonking a baker, three monks and a Quaker,
and four unidentified others!”
So very long chaste they had married in haste
and now it was falling apart.
Puss, shaking her head, in a heavy voice said
“My mother was right from the start, the start,
yes my mother was right from the start.”
“Your mother!” said owl. “With that voice like a howl?
God, her screeching could smash glass to pieces!
I’m just too refined, and I must have been blind
thinking we were compatible species.”
So now at Heathrow, gath’ring baggage they go
Throwing insults about like confetti
Cat, out of wing’s reach, wished she’d stayed on the beach
While owl’s thoughts went back to the jetty, the jetty,
He should have pushed cat off that jetty …